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To Be Fulfilled



Wow I feel pretty special right now. I just received an invite from someone on facebook, to attend a "water blessing" ceremony. The invite was from someone I had attended circle with before, but I hadn't seen in a while. I looked at their name and thought.... hang on a minute..... that is the name of the author of The Way of the Sea Priestess. I have met this person, performed ritual with them in circle, and didn't even realise they were the author of the book I've just read. I discovered the book after I had met the woman, I can't remember how I discovered the book, but I bought it from Amazon. At the end of the book I read the author bio, and was surprised that they live near me. I am so awful with names, that I didn't realise it was actually someone I'd already met.

Sometimes I feel like just banging my head against a wall because I can be such a div. I mean I have serious problems remembering names and faces. I don't know why I have this disability, it's a terrible affliction. I feel like I fail pretty hard at being part of society, I just don't have any people skills at all. Yes I feel quite sorry for myself. It's embarassing being me. (Annika would later realise she's neurodiverse)

Anyway, I apologise for not writing much lately, I've been quite busy. I feel like I'm making great progress on the Way of the Sea Priestess as an inner path of transformation. I want to improve on myself, and I know that this year is a very powerful transformative year for me. I want to step into those silver slippers and be the priestess woman I want to be. I don't want to be this divvy girl who lacks common sense and independence. It's a real struggle for me to actually muster the courage to face adult life firmly, confidently. Well this post is just a ramble about how insecure I am. But I have made a big decision for myself, and that is to live my life fully, confidentally, proudly. What I need most of all is mental clarity and to focus on my goals. There are certain things I want to achieve this year and I need to stop procrastinating, because I have been hiding from the world for a long time, denying myself the chances to live fully, due to my great fear. I have spent a long time being scared and alone, due to my childhood experiences. I don't want to be captive anymore. "I am half sick of shadows said the Lady of Shalott."

Well this is what the Way is all about, it's about finding balance and becoming more fulfilled, whole, complete. It's something that makes me very nervous, but every now and then I get the sense of yes I can do it. I'm going to that water blessing ceremony, and I am going to live my life fully.


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