Secrets of a Modern Witch

Shortly after the summer solstice, I took a walk to the cliff tops, just ten minutes from where I live. I have been thinking about doing this for a long time, debating with myself whether or not it was a good idea. I decided to put a face to the name and say hello to you all.



I have just uploaded this video and my palms are sweating with anxiety. I am quite a shy person. I speak in a hushed voice around people I don't know and struggle to meet them in the eye when I'm not feeling confident. It took me a long time to build up the ability to stand in front of a group of people and speak to them. When I was in university and had to give a presentation to the class, I would feel sick and quake in my boots! But when I started to make videos, I felt a lot more at ease. I gradually became less shy about public speaking, and would fearlessly offer my opinion infront of the class in university. I'm still very awkward around people and it takes me a long time to get to know someone well enough to relax. My close friends are often surprised by how much I come out of my shell when I feel more secure.

I have never been the kind of person to get up on stage and enjoy the lime light, but over the past year I have been learning "tribal bellydance" and had my first performance last month. It felt great to get dressed up and dance in front of a small crowd. Not only has this helped me feel comfortable infront of an audience but it has also taught me to have body confidence and feel good about the way I look. Throughout my teens I had very low self esteem and considered myself very ugly, wishing I could have cosmetic surgery to fix all my "faults". Now I have learned to love what I am, knowing that difference is what makes us beautiful!

When it comes to religion, spirituality, and beliefs, I can't tell you how much I have grown and evolved over the past 15 years. I have struggled with anxiety and depression, falling into suicidal depths of despair. But it was these moments of experiencing rock bottom that powerfully transformed my understanding of life. Through losing myself in the darkness, I was able to see a true light. I felt a spiritual death that expanded my sense of being. No longer was I the little girl lost in a big bad world. I became the world in which a little girl was lost.

It's hard to put into words so I'm sorry if I'm not making much sense. What I'm trying to say is that I realised that only through serving others could I fulfil my purpose in life. I wondered what little old me could possibly offer to others. I don't have any money to help others with, but perhaps I could help people by blogging and making videos. Because I was somewhat of a recluse during my teenage years, I spent a lot of time reading and learning about Modern Witchcraft. I also spent a lot of time drawing and painting. These two areas of expertise are all I have to offer as my small contribution to the world.

There are still things that I consider secret and will keep private, because not everything is for sharing. I don't want this blog or my videos to be about me, I want them to be about my work. My work isn't about earning money, it's not about becoming rich and famous. My work is my service to others, to contribute toward our global evolution.